There is no food recipe in this post. You can skip this page and go right here for a scrumptious dessert salad.
This post is a personal reflection of some recent feelings that I debated on sharing, which has to do with my impending empty-nester status. I’m a pretty private person, so those that know me well will be a little surprised that I chose to blog about my thoughts. I’m definitely stretching myself by sharing my world for a moment. Please share your experiences as a parent, or reflect back to when you were a young adult leaving your home for the first time. I would love to hear your thoughts. I can’t imagine I am the only nutty mom, but hey, ya never know 😉
Last weekend we took our son to an informational meeting for students accepted to University of Hawaii. It’s a dream come true for him. He has had his sight on this college since he was in middle school, and now being offered exactly what he has wanted.There were a lot of parents and their Seniors from all over Northern California with acceptance letters from the university, deciding if going 2,500 miles away from home for the next four years (or more) would be their choice.
As I was sitting in this room with close to a hundred friendly faces listening to current students, alumni and faculty talk, I was feeling proud, excited, and a little sentimental (ok, maybe a lot).
“Congratulations, the beginning of your independence and lifelong memories are just before you.”
And then I had this sentiment surge in my psyche that I was somewhat familiar with bringing me back to four years earlier as we prepared for our daughter to go off to college.
I could feel my breathing change as my chest slowly tighten, my throat uncomfortably heave mini convulsions, and the tears begging to come to the surface of my eyes. “Oh, God, I think I’m going to lose it!” I nonchalantly looked around as I bat my eyelashes purposefully trying to beat the tears back from pooling in my eyes all while looking for the nearest exit just in case this untimely emotional volcano exploded, then I inconspicuously dabbed the corner of my eyes with the tips of my fingers, exhaled quietly, and slowly, while listening to the rest of the speech.
I wished this.
I wanted this.
I asked for this.
Please guide my children and let them seek your guidance, and trust the path you are embarking upon them. And please give us the parenting skills we need to help our children become healthy, happy, and productive adults.
I already had the experience of “letting go” and “cutting the apron strings.” I was terrible at it. It took me probably a full year after my daughter settled in her dorm to finally sleep well. I would listen for her to come home, when I knew she wouldn’t. I couldn’t go for a day or two without some type of contact with her or I would panic. Here I go, the trail I so bravely got through is right in front of me for a second time.
I anticipate the next several months to be a roller coaster ride of emotions as we prepare for our youngest to go off to college. It won’t always make sense to me. The oddest moments, memories, comments, texts, and perfectly normal situations will unexpectedly fill me with sensations I can’t explain. We are moving forward with change, adventure, and a exciting future.
I know it.
I feel it.
I’m not sure I like it.
I also know that God is in the process of answering my prayers. Thank you.